Just Cry--Part One

A lot has happened since my last post. The team from Life Assembly, my home church, arrived on Thursday (it's Sunday), and we've been very busy!

Friday was their first work day. I have pitched in at times, but during the weekdays I try to continue my routine with the First Steps kids since I will be leaving soon.

During the afternoon, the kids from the Compassion Ministries (they take classes at the Bolivian Hope Center property & eat) and the BHC kids had us go into the church for a small presentation. It was sort of like a mini talent show.  A boy and a girl stood on stage and spoke in Spanish to us, while a boy named Jonathan translated it into English. He is very intelligent.

I cannot remember exactly what was said, but it went something like this:

"We are so happy you are here. We thank God for you. Because of you, we have happiness in our hearts--even in sad times. God bless you."

Every single time I have come here, I have been surprised by how much the people remember us. It just goes to show, not only does "doing good" NEVER go unnoticed, but actually taking to time to show love to people... that is something that can leave a footprint forever.

After that, the BHC kids did a human video/drama for us. The song was "Set Me Free" by Casting Crowns (but in Spanish), and their drama showed a girl surrounded by darkness. The kids were all dressed in black, symbolizing hardships, temptations, and demons. They put chains on the girl and pulled her around, controlling her life and stealing her joy. At the end, a man dressed in white walks in, and the demons fall to the ground. He is Jesus. He helps the girl up and restores her.

I had seen this skit many times, but we all agreed that we had never found it that moving. These kids know what it's like to wear the chains. That's something I really found out today.....but that story comes in Part Two.

In my lap sat Jose Luis. He's two years old, and I have become extremely attached to him. While watching the skit, at about halfway through, he pulled my arm in front of his eyes. I pulled it away because I didn't realize what he was doing. Suddenly, he looked at me. I could see the fear in his eyes. His entire body was violently shaking. He turned around and buried his face into my chest, and then kept turning back for a second to see what was happening, only to bury his head again, shaking. Luis began to cry loud and hard. It was a cry of pure fear. I held him close to me and made sure that he didn't look back anymore. Then, I started crying.

When the skit was over, I ran out of the sanctuary with him in my arms--both of us crying our eyes out. I sat with him on a step of the staircase, and we spent a good fifteen minutes just crying. He was crying because he was scared. I was crying because all I could think was: when I'm not here, who is going to hold him when he is afraid and needs to cry? Who will protect him when I no longer can?


I need God to help me see the purpose in pouring my heart out to these kids and having to leave. I need Him to give me faith in His plans for me right now because this is the hardest thing I have ever been through.


This is Part One of "Just Cry."